This is one of my funny labour room stories. Do you know any placenta myths?

#See_Me_See_Wahala
#Placenta_Issues
I’VE BEEN LIVING IN Benin City for 7-8 years now. In that time I’ve seen a lot of cultural and behavioral differences from my native Southeast, expectedly.
Some of them dey surprise me shaa, especially when it comes to attitude to business, especially the part where someone refuses to sell you an item of N400 because you came with N1,000 and he/she doesn’t have change and can’t go find one.
Try am for Onitsha, my papa go sound you! βœ‹
But nothing shock me like the belief of some people with regard to a newborn child and its placenta. Here, the belief regarding the placenta of a newborn baby can be strong, depending on the family the person from dey come.
Many doctors and midwives here know say some people no dey use their baby parts play. It’s a cardinal rule in the hospital.
This gist shaa dey weak me πŸ˜‘.
So recently eeh, I and a midwife delivered a beautiful woman of a bouncing baby boy. The delivery was very strenuous cos she had prolonged latent phase labour
The nurses and doctors reading this will understand what I mean. Her cervix (gateway of the womb) was not opening well enough as it should be per hour, and we had to keep examining her every four hours as the books say.
That night me no sleep 😒 😒
And because the pregnant woman spoke Igbo and I found out she is Igbo, I began to encourage her in fluent Igbo (me that can love to speak Igbo for Africa ☺ ☺)
If you want me to do anything for you, just say it it Igbo and it will be βœ…βœ…
So with the increasing labour pain, and being that it was already very late in the night (around 2am), sleep don almost carry me but I had to do my best.
The midwives, myself and my colleagues kept monitoring her. The womb contractions were not strong enough but the pain no be here 😒.
If you want to know what pain feels like, get belle fes and enter labor. The mothers reading this can confirm it.
So after everything, she put to bed las las. A bouncing baby boy with fine nose πŸ‘ƒ
☺ ☺
She put to bed around 6:30am the next day πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ. And because she had episiotomy (a small cut on the vagina to help the baby to pass out) I was going to be the one asked by my more senior doctor colleagues to repair it.
🌚🌚🌚
So with my sleepy head, I carry chair sidon and begin to suture the woman’s torn and bleeding vagina. Na small challenge shaa.
Las las, I was done, and though I was exhausted, I was glad she was fine. The bleeding had stopped, she’d received what we call THIRD STAGE immediately the baby came out, then high dose oxytocin, and she was doing fine with her baby.
As I usually do whenever I welcome a baby, I went to the newborn boy and announced to him where he was opening his big mouth and crying πŸ˜†πŸ˜†.
I said:
“Hello, baby boy! Welcome oo!
“And in case you’re wondering which country Baba God sent you to las las, may I announce to you that you are in Benin City, Nigeria, and Buhari is our president.”
Omo, the baby began to cry harder πŸ€£πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚
So after everything, a few minutes later, the woman’s husband came in and I greeted him and then I went to freshen up and get ready for the day’s work.
Seconds later, I began to hear shouts oo 😱 😱 Person dey hit table dey provoke anyhow.
Shuuuuuuuuu!!!
So me gas rush back to the labour ward to observe one or two based on the shouts na 😐😐
Na so I see the baby papa where he dey provoke dey shout give everybody!!
“Wey the doctor wey deliver my wife?” He was shouting furiously. “I wan see am, thunder go fire am if he no provide am now now!”
Shuuuuuuu!!
Provide wetin na???
As the man knack table again, papers fly everywhere πŸ“– πŸ“–.
Haba!!
O gini?
😨😨😨
Me I just dey enter the labour ward slowly. I been wan deny say me na doctor, just in case the baba want throw me slap πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚.
Abeg I no fit collect slap from person this early morning
πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ
So as I enter, the man don vex comot shirt πŸ‘š. Him wife dey bed dey beg am “Honey, calm down abeg.”
The man still dey para! “Wey am! Wey am! Una must provide am now now or I go beat person for here!

Everybody dey calm the baba down but he no gri. So me come use style enter, den I ask the midwives wetin dey happen
Immediately, the baba saw me and faced me. He come pull singlet.
Omo, come see muscles πŸ’ͺ🏾πŸ’ͺ🏾πŸ’ͺ🏾πŸ’ͺ🏾πŸ’ͺ🏾The guy big, come thick like Bobby Lashley
😨😨😨
If dawan throw me one slap I go just faint. Me wey be like bonga fish πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„
The guy come rush me come ask me. “Wey am!”
My voice change oo. “Wey wetin, bros?” I come humble finish.
πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚
He say, “Wey my baby placenta”
Placenta kwa??
I turn look midwife, she look me. The oga provoke come near me wella
Omo, see muscles πŸ’ͺ
Jesu! 😱
“So Na you be the doctor wey deliver my wife abi? You wan use my baby placenta do juju. But you no know say me na correct Bini man. Your juju no go work!
“Bring my baby placenta now now or I go finish all of una for here! Your juju no go work lie lie! Bring out my baby placenta now or else!”
He knack hand for table and more papers fly comot.
😱 😱
So I gas use nwayorly nwayorly ask the midwives about the baby placenta. And it turned out they didn’t ask the woman if she wanted it.
The usual thing is to give it to the woman if she asks. If she no ask, na to throway am. Dem no dey use am cook na,
However, the midwives had already taken it to where it would be disposed cos the woman no request for am.
Me gas beg dem to go find am. Abeg.
Cos the man come near me, “Doctor, I give you five minutes to provide my baby placenta or I go sound you now now!”
Fear enter my body oo 😱
See me see slap from Bobby Lashley this early momo. Abeg I can’t fit shout
We gas go find the placenta bring for am, before the man calm down. Later, he come see me dey apologize!
But me just answer am an runaway
Before person go forget backhand slap for my face and I no go fit suck bobby for one month.
I go just die πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚
🀣🀣🀣🀣
Later, as the baba hear of as I take suffer for him wife the previous night, he come dey find me dey apologize again
That time he don calm down, but Wetin concern me?
I don already gbes comot πŸƒ. I can’t come and go and collect slap and die laidat!
πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚

Watch out for more labour room stories.

Labour room stories
Funny labour room stories. Casey escapes the placenta wrath!

By Dr. Casey Amaefule

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