Why are prayers only for “barren women” but never “impotent men”? – Dr Olufunmilayo

“Why does infertility in African culture stigmatize and blame women?” Why do churches offer special prayers for “barren women” but never “impotent men”? – Dr Olufunmilayo asks a rhetorical question.

Read below…..

Why is it that in churches, there are special prayers for “barren women”, but never “impotent men”?

Why do Pastors call people who are “seeking God for children” and only women come out, but never men?

Society and culture has made childlessness a woman’s problem. But it is not.

Infertility in African culture
Infertility in African culture: Why do churches always think the woman is the problem?

Why do you see a couple struggling to have children and you only wonder if the wife’s womb is intact, but not the man’s penis or testicles?

Why do our movies suggest a childless couple have the challenge because the woman had many abortions but not because the man had many STDs.

However you know what the facts of the matter is? Infertility is not a woman’s problem. It is a couple problem. In other words, the medical fact is infertility is never solely due to the woman, but can be due to problems from both the man and the woman. Many of you don’t know.

If as a man,

You take excessive alcohol,

You smoke cigarettes, shisha etc,

You wear very tight underwear,

You have repeated STDs untreated,

You have low sperm count,

You have problems with good erection,

ALL of these, can make you infertile, Or difficult to ever father a child.

If as a woman,

You have irregular periods,

You are overweight,

You smoke cigarettes, shisha etc,

You have repeated STDs untreated,

You produce milk when not pregnant,

You insert nonsense into your vagina to “tighten”, “flush” and “upgrade” it,

ALL these can make you infertile.

These are the things we should be educating one another about.

Not trying to pin all problems of infertility on women.

That’s counterproductive and unintelligent.

And that’s why when a couple goes to see a doctor, about infertility, the doctor will do tests for both of them.

This is why we must be different in our generation and not perpetuate the shameful stereotype that all infertility in marriages must surely be because of the woman.

Let me clarify, I’m not saying it can never be because if the woman.

I’m saying it can also be because of the man.

Of course one can reply and say: “But why do men get side chicks pregnant after their wives fail to give them children”?

So many reasons: Irregular sex, The wife not ovulating, The wife having problems, Or just sheer being unlucky.

Have you tried flipping the coin?

Let me help.

Think of this:
If a couple were having challenges having a child, do you know if the woman went out to have unprotected sex, like some men do, she can also get pregnant?
But this rarely happens. Because married women don’t.
That doesn’t mean those married women are infertile.
Anyway, if you are married or looking for children, Have unprotected sex 4 times a week.
Cut down alcohol- not more than one small glass a week. Stop smoking completely- shisha, cigarettes etc Stay off contraceptives.
Don’t swallow semen- that’s not where it should go
If you are over 30 years, try those ideas for six months, If you are under 30, try it for one year, If after this duration, you still find difficulties getting pregnant, DO NOT WAIT any longer.
Go and see a doctor ASAP. So that if there is need for medical help, it can commence.
I hope this short post has educated you a little about infertility causes and what you can do, But beyond that, I hope this has opened your eyes to the unfortunate unfair stigmatisation of married women as being “barren”, when the fault may never be theirs.
In conclusion,  the views of infertility in African culture is not fair to women and needs to been re-oriented.
Thanks for reading.
Responses/Reactions
Mr. Coker@CokerOluwasegun
My mum’s neighbour was maltreated and insult by her insults because she was “barren” for years, her husband was pressured to divorce her. She remarried and conceived the following year…. Her ex is yet to be father even with his new wife.
Nom-Nom@Chi_Nomso
Replying to@DrOlufunmilayo
Facts & its a sad thing & also an ignorant act by most churches. Think the society makes it look like a woman is always responsible for childlessness. Barbaric
biafranking@biafranking
Why do pastors only call out women who need a husband but not men who need a wife?
Sir Dickson@Wizarab10
Replying to@DrOlufunmilayo
You are being professional and rightly so. On this side of religion, women are the only causes of childlessness. There is no part of the bible where a man was responsible for childlessness. Either God closed it or she was barren. Religion blinds because it is its nature to blind
Popoola Olufe@OlufePopoola
Replying to@DrOlufunmilayo
There’s this couple that is very close to my family, the wife was barren for about 20 years. My dirty mind thought that the woman must had live a rough life and did several abortions(as if I was there). Gbam! After 20 years, the woman got pregnant and delivered safely.
At the day of the naming ceremony, I was telling my mom how I so much appreciate the husband’s perseverance and endurance, that the baba try gidi gan… To my surprise, my mom told me that the appreciation should rather go to the wife.
My mouth was wide opened and since then my dirty mindset towards barren women changed and I also learnt not to judge people by their outward circumstances….. Then, I was 19years old.
Vicky@victoria
Not new.  Infertility in African culture blames the woman and the man goes Scot free.
Cisky@francisky9
Replying to@DrOlufunmilayo
This mostly happens in people’s home, without going for check up to confirm the reason for the barrenness, husband families will just put the blame on wife, put her in agony of not having child and some mother in law go to the length of throwing her luggage out.
Talome Yadua@Fili_Dei
Spot on. Even when the issue is from the woman, it’s still not a ‘woman problem.’ It’s a couple problem. That’s the meaning of “in sickness and in health…till death do you part” That’s what my Church teaches… But we’re just Catholics. What do we know?
7thCakes@Ipheorma
Replying to@DrOlufunmilayo

it’s because of all the times in the bible that couples dealt with childlessness the cure usually came from God opening the womb of the woman. Hannah, Sarah, Rebecca had husbands who had children from other women. I maybe wrong but things like this make it easy to
Believe the woman has a problem. Plus every time God was angry at a person he shuts the womb of the women and cattle nothing about the sperm e.g Abimelech.
This article is from a twitter thread created by UK based Medical doctor and social media influencer: Dr Olufunmilayo

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