This is one of my funny labour room stories. Do you know any placenta myths?

#See_Me_See_Wahala
#Placenta_Issues
Iโ€™VE BEEN LIVING IN Benin City for 7-8 years now. In that time Iโ€™ve seen a lot of cultural and behavioral differences from my native Southeast, expectedly.
Some of them dey surprise me shaa, especially when it comes to attitude to business, especially the part where someone refuses to sell you an item of N400 because you came with N1,000 and he/she doesnโ€™t have change and canโ€™t go find one.
Try am for Onitsha, my papa go sound you! โœ‹
But nothing shock me like the belief of some people with regard to a newborn child and its placenta. Here, the belief regarding the placenta of a newborn baby can be strong, depending on the family the person from dey come.
Many doctors and midwives here know say some people no dey use their baby parts play. Itโ€™s a cardinal rule in the hospital.
This gist shaa dey weak me ๐Ÿ˜‘.
So recently eeh, I and a midwife delivered a beautiful woman of a bouncing baby boy. The delivery was very strenuous cos she had prolonged latent phase labour
The nurses and doctors reading this will understand what I mean. Her cervix (gateway of the womb) was not opening well enough as it should be per hour, and we had to keep examining her every four hours as the books say.
That night me no sleep ๐Ÿ˜ข ๐Ÿ˜ข
And because the pregnant woman spoke Igbo and I found out she is Igbo, I began to encourage her in fluent Igbo (me that can love to speak Igbo for Africa โ˜บ โ˜บ)
If you want me to do anything for you, just say it it Igbo and it will be โœ…โœ…
So with the increasing labour pain, and being that it was already very late in the night (around 2am), sleep don almost carry me but I had to do my best.
The midwives, myself and my colleagues kept monitoring her. The womb contractions were not strong enough but the pain no be here ๐Ÿ˜ข.
If you want to know what pain feels like, get belle fes and enter labor. The mothers reading this can confirm it.
So after everything, she put to bed las las. A bouncing baby boy with fine nose ๐Ÿ‘ƒ
โ˜บ โ˜บ
She put to bed around 6:30am the next day ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ. And because she had episiotomy (a small cut on the vagina to help the baby to pass out) I was going to be the one asked by my more senior doctor colleagues to repair it.
๐ŸŒš๐ŸŒš๐ŸŒš
So with my sleepy head, I carry chair sidon and begin to suture the womanโ€™s torn and bleeding vagina. Na small challenge shaa.
Las las, I was done, and though I was exhausted, I was glad she was fine. The bleeding had stopped, sheโ€™d received what we call THIRD STAGE immediately the baby came out, then high dose oxytocin, and she was doing fine with her baby.
As I usually do whenever I welcome a baby, I went to the newborn boy and announced to him where he was opening his big mouth and crying ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†.
I said:
โ€œHello, baby boy! Welcome oo!
โ€œAnd in case youโ€™re wondering which country Baba God sent you to las las, may I announce to you that you are in Benin City, Nigeria, and Buhari is our president.โ€
Omo, the baby began to cry harder ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚
So after everything, a few minutes later, the womanโ€™s husband came in and I greeted him and then I went to freshen up and get ready for the dayโ€™s work.
Seconds later, I began to hear shouts oo ๐Ÿ˜ฑ ๐Ÿ˜ฑ Person dey hit table dey provoke anyhow.
Shuuuuuuuuu!!!
So me gas rush back to the labour ward to observe one or two based on the shouts na ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
Na so I see the baby papa where he dey provoke dey shout give everybody!!
โ€œWey the doctor wey deliver my wife?โ€ He was shouting furiously. โ€œI wan see am, thunder go fire am if he no provide am now now!โ€
Shuuuuuuu!!
Provide wetin na???
As the man knack table again, papers fly everywhere ๐Ÿ“– ๐Ÿ“–.
Haba!!
O gini?
๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜จ
Me I just dey enter the labour ward slowly. I been wan deny say me na doctor, just in case the baba want throw me slap ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚.
Abeg I no fit collect slap from person this early morning
๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ
So as I enter, the man don vex comot shirt ๐Ÿ‘š. Him wife dey bed dey beg am โ€œHoney, calm down abeg.โ€
The man still dey para! โ€œWey am! Wey am! Una must provide am now now or I go beat person for here!

Everybody dey calm the baba down but he no gri. So me come use style enter, den I ask the midwives wetin dey happen
Immediately, the baba saw me and faced me. He come pull singlet.
Omo, come see muscles ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ’ช๐ŸพThe guy big, come thick like Bobby Lashley
๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜จ
If dawan throw me one slap I go just faint. Me wey be like bonga fish ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„
The guy come rush me come ask me. โ€œWey am!โ€
My voice change oo. โ€œWey wetin, bros?โ€ I come humble finish.
๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚
He say, โ€œWey my baby placentaโ€
Placenta kwa??
I turn look midwife, she look me. The oga provoke come near me wella
Omo, see muscles ๐Ÿ’ช
Jesu! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ
โ€œSo Na you be the doctor wey deliver my wife abi? You wan use my baby placenta do juju. But you no know say me na correct Bini man. Your juju no go work!
โ€œBring my baby placenta now now or I go finish all of una for here! Your juju no go work lie lie! Bring out my baby placenta now or else!โ€
He knack hand for table and more papers fly comot.
๐Ÿ˜ฑ ๐Ÿ˜ฑ
So I gas use nwayorly nwayorly ask the midwives about the baby placenta. And it turned out they didnโ€™t ask the woman if she wanted it.
The usual thing is to give it to the woman if she asks. If she no ask, na to throway am. Dem no dey use am cook na,
However, the midwives had already taken it to where it would be disposed cos the woman no request for am.
Me gas beg dem to go find am. Abeg.
Cos the man come near me, โ€œDoctor, I give you five minutes to provide my baby placenta or I go sound you now now!โ€
Fear enter my body oo ๐Ÿ˜ฑ
See me see slap from Bobby Lashley this early momo. Abeg I canโ€™t fit shout
We gas go find the placenta bring for am, before the man calm down. Later, he come see me dey apologize!
But me just answer am an runaway
Before person go forget backhand slap for my face and I no go fit suck bobby for one month.
I go just die ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
Later, as the baba hear of as I take suffer for him wife the previous night, he come dey find me dey apologize again
That time he don calm down, but Wetin concern me?
I don already gbes comot ๐Ÿƒ. I canโ€™t come and go and collect slap and die laidat!
๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚

Why are we so sentimental about placenta. Do you know that some cultures eat placenta?

Watch out for more labour room stories.

Labour room stories
Funny labour room stories. Casey escapes the placenta wrath!

By Dr. Casey Amaefule

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