Sexual Health

Pregnancy cravings: A funny but true story

Women and their funny pregnancy cravings for food and care… ….. Are pregnancy cravings real?  Please read this personal experience below…

YOU KNOW, THERE’S THIS feeling that young, unmarried people, especially ladies, get when they see a recently-married and first-time-pregnant woman spitting everywhere, throwing tantrums or complaining here and there of pains in almost every part of her body.
These young people either tend to smirk or mock these pregnant ladies as “pretenders”, “attention seekers”, and all. At times, even health professionals or medical students in training are guilty of this reprehensible show of disdain.
For the newly married couple – and never-before-pregnant woman (not the same as nullipara) – the first pregnancy is often a combination of trepidation, anxiety and excitement rolled into one. They – the couple – are both on a journey that hopes to end, after nine months, in a lifetime of unmitigated joy – a ‘bouncing’ baby; but at the same time, the road seems to be filled with all sorts of “unknowns”, some of which are exhilarating and distressing at the same time.
For the lady, it’s a time to finally experience the cold truth about pregnancy in her own terms, different from the “myth” she’d heard from her married friends with kids. She’s about to have her own unique experience, it’s like her own autographed copy of the perennial bestseller, “First Pregnancy”, signed by Baba God Himself.
Would her face swell? Would she be spitting everywhere and need a sputum cup? Would she wake up her man in the middle of the night and demand that he massage her back? Would she suddenly break into tears in the middle of the day without even knowing why?
For the man, it’s also a period of chequered experience. Would his woman start acting strange? How would he cope with her sudden lethargy? The infrequent sex at the latter stages? What of her mood swings? The vomiting? And then, the Oga kpatakpata of them all, is he financially and emotionally ready to welcome the baby? 🙌
For every soon-to-be first-time father, reacting well to the first set of questions requires a certain level of emotional maturity and calmness.
Eziokwu m! ☺
So in the very early hours of today, around 2:00am to be precise, while I was busy watching Lionheart, the new box office film by Genevieve Nnaji, suddenly my phone rang.
Surprised, I picked up and it was my recently married Edo friend, Osas. His voice sounded strong, but he seemed to be panting, like he’d been doing a marathon. 😂
Well, he is married, so who knows? I hear that married men can shaa do marathons in their rooms at night 😂 😂. Izzit true?
Isiatonije Onunkwo, biko izzit true? You know I’m still 24 years old 😂 😂.
“Good morning, Doctor Caséy,” Osas said, sounding out of breath.
“Osasenaga, good morning, boss,” I replied immediately in my usual way. I was a bit antsy, though.
In my experience, when someone called me at such odd times and began with ‘Doctor Caséy,’ I just knew that a medical ’emergency’ was up. The last time I had such a call, it was my friend that panicked because he ‘released’ inside his landlord’s daughter. 😂 😂.
Lekwanu m nsogbu!
Just negodu the kind of friends I have. 😂
“This one you called me at this odd hour, hope all is well?” I said.
“I don’t think so, Doctor. I need your help seriously right now,” Osas said. “Abeg, Dockay!”
My pulse quickened. Immediately, I paused the film when Peter Okoye of PSquare was on screen, threw the remote control aside and sprang to my feet, half expecting the worst. Was he in trouble? Was his wife bleeding or something?
“Wetin happen?” I spat out, bracing up for the impact of the would-be bad news.
Osas drew a long breath. “It’s my wife oo! Doctor, she’s six months pregnant and you know say pregnant women can act funny sometimes,” he said.
That’s normal. “Yes, I understand,” I quickly said. “Wetin do your wife na?!”
“Doctor, as usual, for the past few months, she been don dey make some funny demands. She go say make I buy am some kyn food wey she no go even chop well,” Osas said in full Pidgin English.
Pregnancy cravings, I thought to myself. “Ehen, continue, Osas! Which kyn food?”
“Doctor, e too many, I no fit count,” he said. “When e no be sugarcane and fried potato, e go be oyibo pear and agidi.” 😂 😂
“But the thing be like say e don dey get worse, Doctor!”
“Go on,” I said, trying to maintain my professional tone.
“Just two days ago, as we dey go church for crossover service, Doctor. We don dey reach church, na im she say make I stop motor go find where I go buy am agbalumo and bobozi,” he said (that’s udara and akpu mmiri in Igbo language).
😂 😂
He continued, “Doctor, na im I just weak oo! If I say no, she go burst cry 😨😨and I no dey like use eye see where my wife dey cry. Na so I take park motor beside one filling station go begin find where I go buy agbalumo and bobozi around that kyn 10:30 for night.”
Choi! Obala Emma!
Me sef weak!
“She is having pregnancy cravings, Osas, and it’s not strange, especially for first-time pregnant women,” I said. “You just have to either beg her to accept an available alternative or keep obliging to her requests. To get belle no easy oo!”
“I know, Dockay!” Osas said. “But-”
“So what’s the problem today that made you call me by this time?” I said, interrupting him.
Osas paused, drew another sharp breath. “Doctor, she just woke me up like thirty minutes ago, 2:00am, come dey cry say she wan chop Fibre biscuit!”
😂 😂
Funke! Fibre biscuit kwa!
Just kee me! 😂 😂
For a split second I didn’t even know what to say. I totally understood what the wife was going through. It was no fault of hers. Pregnancy aburo beans. The hormonal tornado going on inside of her and her inexperienced body’s attempts to adapt to a growing human being all contribute to it.
While it’s said that some women fake or simulate those symptoms for reasons best known to them, many others do not.
I peeked at my wall clock 🕒 . It was 2:35am. Where person wan see fibre biscuit buy by this kyn time?
“You no get anything wey dey house wey person fit chop?” I asked, “Banana, orange, cakes! If anyone dey, give am, and beg am to wait till tomorrow make you go buy carton of Fibre biscuit keep for house!”
“Doctor, I get all of them. I even get enough agbalumo and bobozi wey she dey like plus sugar cane, chin chin, chewing gum. Dem plenty for fridge. I don beg am make she take dem, make I buy the Fibre biscuit first thing for morning but she no gri. She just dey cry. Doctor, abeg epp me beg am!”
Na so I take start to dey beg my guy wife for night oo! 🙏 She wouldn’t accept any offers I made her in a bid to make her change her mind. She just kept crying. I wasn’t surprised though.
“Osas,” I said when he got back on the phone. “You know where you fit buy Fibre biscuit by this kind time? If not, no peace for that house oo!”
“My landlady get provisions shop for downstairs, but she dey store things for their flat,” he said. “I for like go beg am, but Doctor, e too late for night na. Soon e go be 3 o’clock.”
I understood his predicament a bit. I’m not married though so I wouldn’t probably get the picture from his angle. “Call am for phone make you beg am,” I said. “She’s a mother so she fit understand. Then calm your wife down. Call me back when it’s sorted out,” I concluded and he ended the call.
Maybe he’d get through to the woman, I hoped. Just maybe. I prayed for it to to work out fine.
Fast-forward to 3:50am 🕒
My phone rang just as I was drifting into sleep after finishing the Lionheart film some moments earlier. It was Osas. I shook away the sleep. “O boy, how far? Shebi you get the biscuits from una landlady? Your wife don calm, abi?”
“Doctor, I don tire! Make I kukuma carry the belle na!” Osas said, sounding defeated and about to burst into tears any second.
“Wetin happen?” I blurted out. “Landlady no gri?”
My guy exhaled deeply then said, “Dockay, I use twenty-five minutes beg madam landlady before she gri open her door. She even cut my calls three times before she pick oo! Las las, she come open door, gimme one carton of Fibre biscuits come beg me make I no call am again by this kind time. She even say make I pay for morning.”
“Okay? That’s nice. Thank God,” I said. “So wetin happen again na?”
“Dockay, na im I carry the carton of biscuits reach house, my wife come take one piece, chew am small, say e no sweet. Now she say na Spicy biscuits she want chop! Spicy biscuits, Doctor! Abeg come and transfer the belle or just kee me this night!”
😂 😂 😂
I just fainted. Inukwa nsogbu?
From Fibre biscuit to Spicy in the middle of the night?
Me sef wee just transfer the belle to myself 😂 😂.
Just see me and my sleep-deprived face this morning. 😢 😢

Pregnancy cravings: pregnant wife outrageous taste
Pregnant women and cravings: I want this, no not this again, that.
Credit: Steemit

Pregnancy cravings is known medically as pica.  What causes pregnancy cravings? That is a topic for another day?

 

This article is the intellectual property of  Dr Casey Amuefule and was first shared on his Facebook page.

Udomoh Eshemokha

I am a practicing medical doctor, a philosopher, critical thinker, a globalist, a patriot, SEO expert and a patient blogger.

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Udomoh Eshemokha